This Baby Thing Isnt So Bad

The past few days I have had some reflection going on in my head when it comes to AT. This blog is mainly about me and my outlet to express things that are going on in my head, life directly, and whatever else I feel like blogging about. I have AT his own blog to keep up with everything about HIM there. So naturally this entry fits.

In 6 days by "baby" will be 7 months old. SO many things have happened in his short little life that it amazes me. Tim and I find ourselves talking about another baby but we both know it wont be soon, we obv cant afford 2 right now. But we have come so far from that "I'm scared to death" stage, "this shit is SO hard" stage, and the ever so famous "this may be our last and only" stage that we surprise ourselves most days. I asked him Sunday what gender he wanted next and he quickly said Boy. This caught me off guard I guess bc with AT he didn't care he was happy either way and now he chooses boy, where I on the other hand secretly want a girl but a boy would be fantastic too. Why I think I want a girl blows my mind. I guess just to get to exp a diff gender would be nice and to always know that I have a little girl who could one day be my best friend. Something I don't have and I guess I long for a little of that relationship. I want to help her plan a wedding, for a baby, and just be there in general. If that is not in the cards that's fine too, I just pray that AT picks a kick ass wife :)

So back to my reflections. We all know I have been a workout diva for the past few months sans about 2 weeks bc of "life". Well this past week AT has been sitting on his own, there with his toys in front of him smiling up at me. As I pound my way through my 30DS workout he is grinning at me the whole time cooing and getting excited bc I am so near.....I have that moment.....

"This is IT! This is what I always hoped it would be, my beautiful baby boy right here beside me playing with his toys (not yet mobile I might add) and watching his mommy work off all the ice cream that she enjoyed while baking him."

Why this makes me tear up I have no idea. I guess it is bc we are past one of the toughest times. The first 4 months were really the hardest months of my life. Then the 6 weeks of EI made it hard to enjoy AT, he was in so much pain and there was not much I could do to help him. Now we are past all that and walking into his nursery every morning and having that big grin greet me is the most exciting and full filling feeling I have EVER had. A child really does complete me in ways I could ever have imagined.

I LOVE this age! This is so perfect right now, don't get me wrong it is still hard to juggle our life but we are having SO much fun I can hardly contain myself to go and pick him up sometimes after work or not to stay hours at the daycare playing with him while I should be working. Its like my legs cant move fast enough to get there. I honestly think that feeling will never go away.

I'm overly excited about summer coming and being outside with him. I know Tim cant wait...it will be harder when he is mobile but that's okay I am looking forward to those milestones too. There is def something to be said when they can sit pretty and play but cant move very far in the beginning.

So are we ready for another.....not yet, but we know now it really isn't that bad and it passes so quickly so we are trying to live in each and every moment that we are given. The fog has passed and I can see clearly now what I would do diff next time....but at least I have my new mom stripes ready to go when its time!