Interview: Best or Worst????

I guess that is the question. It was yesterday the final installment of the saga that is Thomasville Medical Center. As I sit here this AM at my current position I came in with a new attitude. Not sure how it will all work out or not but I have to face what I am currently most involved in and that at this point in time is being the Medical Staff Coordinator for Randolph Hospital.

I really feel there maybe a 40% chance of getting the job, not a high number I know. But I really feel that my age is stacked against me. It was mentioned quite a few times during the interview process and I am not sure how to take it. First I met with the president of the company, she was very nice and straight forward. Seems she is rather give it to me and now (not really like a Devil wears Prada) but it could see that it may end up that way. And sometimes I am not the best when you come in barking orders at me, it doesn't want me to work any harder.

My stress level has been through the roof this week, aside from the thinking I am PG and the interview stress i think I am a new person this AM. I am pretty sure I am not PG but now waiting on AF is getting old. She should be here today. Maybe tomorrow.

Back to the interview. The meeting with the Pres went well i believe I think she really enjoyed me i got several laughs. I then met with the director of MSS from FMC, I already knew her collegial and she is really in my corner. There was an awkward run in with the lady who is also vying for the job, she is older and also from out of state so I may have this in my favor. But the age thing is definitely not. I mentioned it to Melia she didn't confirm but she wasn't convincing. I think they truly want someone fast and I am not sure if the out of state issue along that she has to give a months notice will make any difference. I have come to the conclusion this AM that I am not really depressed if I don't get this job. I have my current facility which has tons of flexibility and my current boss is great on most days. The only thing that is really bothering me is the location.

If they would pick this place up and move it about 20 minutes north we would be in business. I really want to continue my career and have a baby, and have the time off that I deserve. I just don't know if Thomasville is going to offer me that. I really think that if start there and I end up PG they will be disappointed rather than supportive. I interviewed with the chief of staff last and he is a great interviewer so good that if I dont get the job he may be the reason why. He asked some of the worst questions, things that were so off the wall that you wonder what world you stepped into. I didn't do the best with him and i know it, he is another one who mentioned the age factor.

I am to the point where i have talked myself out of it a bit. I think that it would really be a lot more work on me to take all of it on plus the stress of TTC, and having a baby and bringing all of that stress into the house. I really love my happy go lucky life right now. Maybe Tim and I can come to an agreement to move closer to Lexington for me to be a bit closer to work etc. It would sure make it easier on Tim to be closer to work in cases where he has to go in at night or weekends. I don't know my mind is going an hour a minute. I may play on the computer a bit and see what there is housing wise out there for us if we decide to move instead. I really hope my husband supports me in this and doesn't push me to give up my career. I should know either way on Tuesday.....so the waiting continues.