And the Answer is ::Not Pregnant::

Yep that is what the test said yesterday morning. It really sucked. I kind of had my hopes up but then not really. All those feelings at the same time I guess. No sign of AF, other than some cramping late Saturday night but other than that I had had nothing to tell she was coming. As I sit here this AM she is still yet to show, the only way I know is that my temp was down this AM. So she will prob show in the AM. I guess it is okay, but those negatives really suck. I hope I don't have many more of those to endure.

To top it all off I had to go shopping for Alan a baby shower gift, it really didn't bother me that much until I was talking to Jordan later in the day and she asked about me testing. I am still a little ticked this AM bc AF is still MIA. I am not sure if this makes my cycles irregular or not? History being : 30, 28, TBD......... So far this one looks like it will be 32.

Which sucks when it comes to figuring out when AF is to show, the only thing that I can rely on now will be temps. To see if they go down or stay up. My LP this month has been 15 days compared to 11 last month. That does not help keep me sane when trying to figure out if you are pg or not.

Tim didn't really make me feel any better about it. He knew i was testing yesterday and didn't even ask me about it, I pretty much had to tell him. I guess he doesn't want to know anything about it until I am actually PG. It is so hard to keep something like this to yourself. Especially when the two of you are working toward a common goal. I know he wants to have kids but there is just no excitement about it like there is from me and i really want to talk about it. I guess I will just have to pour my heart out to the girls on The Nest, some of those women really make my day and keep me sane through some of the toughest times.

On the job front I should here something either way today or tomorrow. I am still on the fence about it. Since I am not PG and if it is offered i think I will take it. It will be a definite adjustment, but a huge boost to my career, and I will try and conquer anything they throw my way. It may be a chance to do something serious and not look back, baby or no baby. If I declined I would seriously let down those girls at FMC that have rooted me on, and I just cant do that. I truly believe they would be there to cheer me on once I took over. We shall see what the next couple of days bring.....hopefully AF and a new job.