Its true. I don't dread it. Its natural.
You say (well if anyone) DUH?!
I know Ive talked about a lot of things on this blog. Marriage, Pregnancy, trips we take, home projects, everyday life.
But Ive never been deep. Like divulged personal baggage. Ive tried not to do that here. I like to keep it light. But as I get older and I have more time to think about things, bc well my baby doesnt need me much anymore things just seem to haunt me more. I feel like my age is creeping up on me. I dont feel old.......I really dont. I feel the same. Its the mental things I guess.
I think in my next few entries Im going to take you through my child hood. The good, the bad, and the ugly. There are a lot of people missing from my life that I have so many memories of.....good, bad, and ugly. But anyone who reads this blog doesnt know that. I think I need to get some of it out. Maybe getting it out on the interwebs will be therapeutic.
Now no worries I wont really mention names and air dirty laundry. Honestly its all my laundry. But Im not planning on embarrasing anyone. Its a story and its my story. Seen through my eyes.
I dont know why but at this stage in my life I only have about 2 people who truly know my story and who understand. Shockingly one of those people is not my husband. He knows part of the story.....but I get a blank stare when I try and share things. Not bc he doesnt care. I KNOW he does...and wants to listen. He just CANT relate. Its not his fault.......& you know what its OKAY he cant relate. Why would I want him too? There are things that I have been through I wouldnt wish on anyone, but you know what they have shaped me to be the person I am today.
So I guess this is a warning. Im not sure where I will start with the story but Ill try and go back as far as I can. This story is the little peice of me that will always be sad, cold, and just plain hard ass. I feel like most of what happened to me made me a little hard around the edges.....and I see that in my parenting sometimes. Although I know I have that natural motherly loving instinct.
Why now? IDK.....I guess I feel like I want to spill it. Make this fluff blog a little more real. Getting older sure does something to your mind after a while. Stay tuned.....I guess?
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